How to drive like a Jamaican

I found this journal entry from a couple of years ago and thought it would be rude not to share.

"Yesterday I swerved to dodge a dog taking a dump which prompted me to write this note:

How to drive like a Jamaican

Do drink and drive.  Or better yet, smoke and fly.

Don’t indicate when you’re turning but do leave your indicator flashing in general.  Because. 

Do overtake, especially on bends and if you are driving a lorry.

Park in the middle of the road: ‘AH FI WE COUNTRY!’

Watch out for people drifting across the road or behind your car when you're reversing: the only time they will rush is after you when you knock them! 

Watch out for goats, although they are the smartest of all pedestrians.  At least they have the good sense to look before they cross the road.

Drive over 100mph or under 20.  Because. 

Look out for taxis- these are the over-stuffed cars with red number plates reversing up the motorway.  

Do stop for fruit and jelly coconut <3

Watch out for potholes and gullies

Do remember the hard shoulder/ grass verge constitutes another lane

Beep. A lot.  On sharp bends/ winding roads, at wandering dogs/people, cars about to pull out in front of you, at any pedestrian you think is hot.

Inhale the view; often an expanse of sea on one side and undulating mountains on the other."

Drive safe, loves.